- 3/4 cup drained oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, plus 1 tablespoon of the oil
- 1 tablespoon dried minced garlic
- 1 1⁄2 teaspoons dried oregano
- 1 1⁄2 teaspoons granulated chicken bouillon (preferably Totole brand, see page 110; optional but optimal)
- 1 teaspoons kosher salt (Diamond Crystal or about half as much Morton)
- 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
- 8 ounces (1 cup) Philadelphia cream cheese, room-temp so it's nice and soft
Combine the vinegar, sugar, salt, garlic, jalapeño, carrot, onion, and 2 cups of water in a medium pot over medium-high heat and bring it to a boil. Lower the heat and let simmer, stirring once or twice, until the onion is translucent, the carrot is soft, and the jalapeño has faded like your go-to jeans, 25 minutes or so.
Move everything to your blender (liquid and all), add all the hot sauces, and blend until smooth.
It'll keep the fridge for a month or two.